Entrance into the community of Christ is a family homecoming. The prodigal son returns home after squandering his inheritance in hopes of becoming an indentured servant, but the father runs out to embrace him, restores his former status, and declares: “My son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found” (Lk. 15:24).[1] Christ brings the lost back to the Heavenly Father, and the Heavenly Father with open arms receives the penitent, cleanses them from sin, and brings them as sons and daughters into His household.[2]
Life in Christ calls for putting to death the vices of the former life (Col. 3:5-11), and the putting on the virtues befitting of the new life (Col. 3:12-17). God graces us with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness, love, reconciliation (the peace of Christ), and divine revelation (the word of Christ). It is within the family unit where these heavenly virtues are received and shared.
Paul instructs the Christians at Colossae:
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven (Col. 3:18-4:1).
Similar instructions are given to the Ephesians (Eph. 5:22-6:9). Peter, likewise, gave instructions the relationships between masters and servants and the relationships between husbands and wife (1 Pet. 2:18-3:7).
Note that Paul’s instructions on the family were never formed in a vacuum, but “the household (familia) was recognized as a stabilizing element in ancient society, and treatises on household administration were common.”[3] One can even find household instructions in Xenophon’s Oeconomicus and Aristotle’s Politics. They innately recognize the significance of the family unit as a basis building block in society and that the strength of that family unit depended on establishing good relationships between husband and wife, father and children, and master and servants. But rather than adopting any of the preexisting pagan social structures into the body of Christ, Paul presents the way household relationships are shaped under the influence of Christ the Redeemer.
Wives and Husbands: The wife submits to her husband “as is fitting in the Lord” (Col. 3:18). She does this in the way that is appropriate to God. Her best example is Christ. Just as Christ is subject to the Father (Mk. 14:36; 1 Cor. 15:28), the wife is subject to her husband. Subjection to her husband reflects the Church’s subjection to Christ — the head and Savior of the Church (Eph. 5:23-24).
Rather than being “harsh,” the husband is to “love” his wife (Col. 3:19). He can never be uncaring overlord. The husband’s love for his wife parallels Christ’s love for the Church. Christ gives Himself up for her, so that she might be sanctified, and she is cleansed through the Word. Just as a man will love his own body — he would be out of his right mind to abuse, mutilate, and destroy himself — so too the husband is to love his wife as he loves his own body (Eph. 5:25-31). Love or agape selflessly seeks after the well-being of the other person who is the object of affection.
The one man and one woman united together in the bond of love in holy matrimony is what God had intended from the very beginning in the Garden of Eden — “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Eph. 5:31; Gen. 2:24). The husband’s love for his wife coupled with the wife’s submission to her husband serves as a living expression of Christ’s redemption of the Church.[4]
Children and Fathers: Children are to follow the instructions of their parents for this pleases God (Col. 3:20). Moses tells us, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exod. 20:12). Likewise, Solomon says, “Listen to your father who gave you life, | and do not despise your mother when she is old” (Prov. 23:22). There are few exceptions to the rule. For example, children can never follow their parents in rejecting the Lord (Mat. 10:34-39; Mk. 3:31-35; Lk. 12:51-53; 14:26).[5] Moreover, the very life of Christ is the quintessential example of obedience for the Son submitted to the will of the Father (Mk. 14:36; Phil. 2:5-11; Heb. 5:8-9).
Fathers are to navigate away from provoking their children to the point of discouragement (Col. 3:21). Rather than crushing them to the extent they only see themselves as disappointments, fathers are to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). Fathers are to take on the role of instructing their children on the ways of the Lord as revealed in the Scriptures: “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deut. 6:6-9). When earthly fathers despite being evil give good things to their children, they reflect the glory of the Heavenly Father, who out of perfect goodness gives the Holy Spirit to His praying children (Lk. 11:11-13; Jas. 1:17-18).[6]
Slaves and Masters: Slavery was a common element within the economy of the ancient world of the New Testament; albeit, there were significant differences between that form of slavery and the sort that existed in the West between the fifteenth and nineteenth centuries. [7] Yet, even Paul’s teaching on master and slave relationships within the household differed other the ancient thinkers. For instance, whereas Aristotle believed some people were slaves by nature and slavery beneficial for society,[8] Paul reminded masters and servants they were subservient to the Lord (Col. 3:24; 4:1), encouraged manumission in the Christian community (1 Cor. 7:20-21) and taught believers that neither slave nor free were different but all are one in Christ (Gal. 3:28).[9] The very vocation of the Christ included setting the captives free (Lk. 4:16-21; cf. Isa. 61:1-2). Without Christ, manumission would have been impossible, with Christ, it became inevitable.[10]
Now there are transcendent moral principles from Paul’s instructions to masters and slaves applicable to labor relations in our modern context. Believers perform their work duties “not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers” or with vain self-glorifying aspirations, like simply trying to make one’s mark in society. Instead, they work in reverence to the Lord (Col. 3:22). They put an effort in their work “for the Lord and not for men” and the Lord will reward them with their inheritance. Vocation is thus a means of “serving the Lord Christ” (Col. 3:23-24). The good news about Jesus Christ can even be shared through the performance of one’s occupation or the interactions with colleagues and clients.[11] Relationships between employer and employee matter to God, and “the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality” (Col. 3:25; cf. Eph. 6:8).
Believers whose occupation includes hiring and/or supervising others are to manage “justly and fairly, knowing” they too are servants of the “Master in heaven” (Col. 4:1). Those who want to be great in the kingdom of God must become servants of all for the first shall be last and the last shall be first (Mk. 10:41-45). Moreover, just as Christ washes the feet of His own disciples, Christians are to serve one another (Jn. 13:3-17).
Christ is then to be reflected in the household relationships between husband and wives, fathers and children, and masters and servants. William Hendriksen puts it this way:
Christianity, as originating in Christ, supplied the only true pattern for God-glorifying conduct on the part of the very groups here discussed, namely, wives and their husbands, children and their fathers, servants and their masters. Christ himself, as the bridegroom, in his matchless love for the church, his bride, furnished the standard for the love of Christian marriage (Eph. 5:25, 32).
In his obedience to his parents (Luke 2:51), in the wonderful manner in which he, in the midst of the tortures of hell, provided for his earthly mother (John 19:25–27), and in fact in his entire life of obedience to his heavenly Father, culminating in a death in which that obedience was climaxed (Phil. 2:8), he gave to all an example of patient submission. That example was certainly intended also for the children. (He also had a lesson for the fathers, Luke 15:20–24.)
Last of all, in his willingness to stoop very low, which he proved by washing the feet of his disciples and by his death on the cross, he gave an object-lesson intended for all, certainly also for masters and slaves, as plainly indicated in John 13:13–17.[12]
Application: The family forms a basic unit for society. Strength of the society is set by the strength of the family units. Fragmenting of the family is a source of social decline. Paul Copan and Robertson McQuilkin tell us, “’The family that prays together stays together’ is a common slogan in Christian circles. Actually, it is equally true that, from a sociological viewpoint, the family that stays together prays together. Like the double-helix ladder of the DNA, whose strengths depend on one another, a healthy family life reinforces the faith, and a healthy faith reinforces the family life.” Moreover, they add “the home life is critical to passing on a vibrant faith to the next generation.”[13]
Estrangement from God erodes the stabilizing power of family. Separation from God runs tandem with self-sovereignty. We become the god or goddess of our own personal domain — a false triune deity named “Me, Myself and I.” Such a self-centered atomized life ultimately divides rather than unites people. But life was never meant to be lived in this way.
Our lives were meant to be lived in communion with God. We come to our Heavenly Father upon the way forged by the Son of God through the power of the Holy Spirit. God brings us out of the kingdom of darkness and into the kingdom of light.
Christ directs and vitalizes the relationships shared between husbands and wives, parents and children, and employers and employees. Just as the branch connected to the vine bears fruit, those in union with Christ bring forth heavenly virtues befitting of the sons and daughters the Heavenly Father. The family unit is the basic building block of the state and society as a whole, and the epicenter of the most durable family unit is Christ.
— WGN
Notes:
[1] All Scripture cited from The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016).
[2] Put it another way: “God made us so that He could be our Father in a way that reflects His fatherly relationship to His only Son. When we lost that initial gift, He resolved to give it to us yet again, by sending that only Son to become our brother, so that we could become the Son’s sisters and brothers, and thus the sons and daughters of God the Father Himself”(Donald Fairbairn, “Family, Faith and Father,” Christian Research Journal, 40, 5 [2017]: https://www.equip.org/article/family-faith-and-father/).
[3] F.F. Bruce, The New International Commentary on the New Testament: The Epistles to the Colossians to Philemon and to the Ephesians (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1984), 161. Obviously, “the household was wider than the nuclear family of the Western world today; it included all who were under the authority of its head,” thus heads of households could be women, like Lydia (Acts 16:15), Chloe (1 Cor. 1:11), and Nympha (Col. 4:15), “but usually the head of the household was a man, who exercised within it the authority of a husband, a father, and a master” (Ibid).
[4] What I have presented on the displaying the Christ-like virtues of humility and love in the relationship between husbands and wives is mere Christianity. Nevertheless, Colossians 3:18-19 is part of the constellation of passages related to the debate over the role of women in ministry, particularly the ordination of women for the office of pastor (elder, bishop, rector, or priest). On one side of the debate are complementarians and the other the egalitarians. Complementarians sees male and female as distinct yet complimentary in the distinct roles they take on at home and church, and qualified males are to be appointed to the office of pastor. Egalitarians accepts distinctions between male and female, yet finds positions of authority in the church can be performed by qualified men or women. Much more can be written on this debate than what can be covered in a single blog post. I recommend checking out the discussion on the complementarian and egalitarian perspectives in Robertson McQuilkin and Paul Copan, An Introduction to Biblical Ethics: Walking in the Way of Wisdom, Third edition (Downers Grove, IL: IVP, 2014), 311-333. See also Bonnidell Clouse and Robert G. Clouse, Women in Ministry: Four Views (Downers Grove, IL: IVP, 2010). Recommend articles include: Roland Cap Ehlke, “A Woman’s Place: The Evangelical Debate over the Role of Women in the Church,” Christian Research Journal, 24, 4 [2000]: http://www.equip.org/articles/a-womans-place/ The following articles are favorable to the complementarian perspective: Anne Kennedy, “Be Free! The Making of Biblical Womanhood” Christian Research Journal, [2021]: https://www.equip.org/article/be-free-the-making-of-biblical-womanhood-a-summary-critique-review-of-the-making-of-biblical-womanhood-how-the-subjugation-of-women-became-gospel-truth-by-beth-allison-barr/ (This is a review of The Making of Biblical Womanhood: How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel Truth by Beth Allison Barr) and Matthew M. Kennedy, “Christ and His Bride: Why Your Pastor’s Gender Matters,” Christian Research Journal, 44, 3 [2021]: https://www.equip.org/article/christ-and-his-bride-why-your-pastors-gender-matters/ (This last article is only accessible to Journal subscribers).
[5] For additional discussion on honoring parents’ instructions against obeying the Lord, cf. Michael F. Ross, “Honoring Dishonorable Parents,” Christian Research Journal, 42, 1 [2019]: https://www.equip.org/article/honoring-dishonorable-parents/
[6] For additional discussion on parenting, cf. Michael W. Austin, “Rethinking Parenthood: Biblical Foundations of the Family,” Christian Research Journal, 37, 2 [2014]: https://www.equip.org/article/rethinking-parenthood-biblical-foundations-of-the-family/
[7] Slaves were never identifiable by ethnicity. Slaves were educated, they could serve as managers, accountants, tutors, secretaries, sea captains, and physicians. Some voluntarily became slaves for social advancement. They could own property. They could anticipate their freedom. None of this was true for Black slavery in Europe and America (cf. S. Scott Bartchy, “Slave, Slavery,” in Dictionary of the Later New Testament and Its Developments ed. Ralph P. Martin and Peter H. Davids, [Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1997], 1098–1099).
[8] Aristotle reasoned “Every state is as we see a sort of partnership, and every partnership is formed with a view to some good” (Politics, 1252a) and “Household management falls into departments corresponding to the parts of which the household in its turn is composed; and the household in its perfect form consists of slaves and freemen”(Politics, 1253b). He considered “a slave a live article of property” (Politics, 1253b). He purported that “authority and subordination are conditions not only inevitable but also expedient; in some cases things are marked out from the moment of birth to rule or to be ruled” (Politics, 1254a) and “he is by nature a slave who is capable of belonging to another (and that is why he does so belong), and who participates in reason so far as to apprehend it but not to possess it; for the animals other than man are subservient not to reason, by apprehending it, but to feelings” (Politics, 1254b). Moreover, the philosopher asserted, “It is manifest therefore that there are cases of people of whom some are freemen and the others slaves by nature, and for these slavery is an institution both expedient and just” (Politics, 1255a). Quotes from, Aristotle in 23 Volumes, Translated by H. Rackham., vol. 21 (Medford, MA: Cambridge, MA, Harvard University Press; London, William Heinemann Ltd., 1944).
[9] In the Epistle to Philemon, Paul acknowledges church members Philemon (master) and Onesimus (slave) as brothers in Christ. He informs Philemon that releasing Onesimus would be beneficial to his ministry. Payment is also offered for the redemption of Onesimus.
[10] God works through incremental changes. The changes to social structures that would bring an end to slaver begins in the Old Testament. F.F. Bruce points out: “The household codes did not set out to abolish or reshape existing social structures, but to christianize them. As far as slavery was concerned, it took a long time for the essential incompatibility of the institution with the ethic of the gospel, or indeed with the biblical doctrine of creation, to be properly assimilated by the general Christian consciousness” (Bruce, The New International Commentary on the New Testament, 171). The same principle can be applied to the Old Testament. Paul Copan writes that “God ‘works with’ Israel as he finds her, He meets his people where they are while seeking to show them a higher ideal in the context of ancient Near Eastern life,” but “God didn’t impose legislation that Israel wasn’t ready for. He moved incrementally” (Paul Copan, Is God a Moral Monster? Making Sense of the Old Testament God [Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2011], 61). For additional discussion, see my previous post “Did God Approve of Slavery?”
[11] For further related reading, cf. Bob Perry, “Taking Jesus to Work,” Christian Research Journal, 38, 4 [2015]: https://www.equip.org/article/taking-jesus-work/
[12] William Hendriksen and Simon J. Kistemaker, Exposition of Colossians and Philemon, vol. 6, New Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1953–2001), 167–168. Similarly, John McRay states, “Paul’s teaching in these verses in Colossians seems to be that submission to appropriate authority is no problem where that authority figure is Christ-like. No one who gazes at the cross has any problem in submitting to the lordship of Jesus Christ. And no slave of Paul’s day would have trouble acknowledging his master’s authority when that master treated him fairly and justly, knowing that he, too, has a Master in heaven (Col. 4:1). No wife should have a problem accepting her husband as head of the house when that husband loves her as Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her (Col. 3:19; Eph. 5:25)” (John McRay, Evangelical Commentary on the Bible, ed. Walter Elwell [Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House, 1995], 1060.)
[13] McQuilkin and Copan, An Introduction to Biblical Ethics, 311.
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