Francis Schaeffer: If we demand, in any of our relationships, either perfection or nothing, we will get nothing

Knowing that all men are sinners frees us from the cruelty of utopianism. Utopianism is cruel, for it expects of expects of men and women what they are not and will not be until Christ comes. Such utopianism, forgetting what the Bible says about human sinfulness, is hard-hearted; it is as monstrous a thing as one can imagine…

Utopianism is terribly cruel because it expects the impossible from people. These expectations are not based on reality. They stand in opposition to the genuine human possibilities afforded by the realism of the Scripture.

Utopianism can cause harm. In the home, in the man-woman relationship, nothing is more cruel than for the wife or husband to build up a false image in his or her mind and then demand that the husband or wife measure up to this false romanticism. Nothing smashes homes more than this…

Utopianism is also harmful in the parent-child relationship. When a parent demands more from his child than the child is capable of giving, the parent destroys him as well as alienates him. But the child can also expect too much of his parents. It cuts both ways…

Utopianism is also destructive with a pastor and people. How many pastors have been smashed because their people have expected them to live up to an impossible idea? And how many congregations have been injured by pastors who forget that the people in their churches could not be expected to be perfect?

If we demand, in any of our relationships, either perfection or nothing, we will get nothing. Only when we have learned this will we be Bible-believing Christians, and only then will we understand something of life. Ony then can we be more understanding toward men and show real compassion. Consequently, I would repeat, if in any of our relationships of life we demand perfection or nothing, we will have nothing.

— Francis Schaeffer

Cited from No Little People (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 1974), 49, 50-51

Utopian life experiments outwardly look appealing but the proverbial devil is in the details. Trying to attain sinless perfection on this side of eternity inevitably causes more harm than good. The above excerpt from No Little People, Francis Schaeffer contends that utopianism is inherently cruel because it denies the biblical reality of human sinfulness and expects perfection where it cannot exist. Believing people can be flawless—whether in marriage, family, church, or society—leads to disillusionment, broken relationships, and emotional harm. When we demand “perfection or nothing,” we destroy the possibility of genuine compassion and authentic community.

Francis A. Schaeffer (January 30, 1912 – May 15, 1984) was a pastor, lecturer, and author, who founded the study center and Christian community L’Abri Fellowship, a study center and Christian community. A profound Christian thinker and apologist, Schaeffer understood the despair of humanity severed from God. Schaeffer proposed the worlds constructed by those apart from God can never satisfy them with what they need the most, and only Christ can heal the divide between God and humankind. Among his most influential writings are The God Who is There, Escape from Reason, and He is There and He is Not Silent.